๐คช absurd
#1
I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right.
#quotes
#arguments
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๐คช absurd
#2
Collect moments, not things.
#quotes
#experiences
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๐คช absurd
#3
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day.
#hilarious
#savage
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๐คช absurd
#4
Queens don't compete with hoes.
#attitude
#queen
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๐คช absurd
#5
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
#witty
#observational
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๐คช absurd
#6
I don't have an attitude. I have a personality you can't handle.
#witty
#attitude
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๐คช absurd
#7
Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they're dealing with.
#quotes
#confident
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๐คช absurd
#8
I speak fluent sarcasm.
#witty
#sarcasm
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๐คช absurd
#9
I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
#hilarious
#drinking
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๐คช absurd
#10
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once.
#witty
#multitasking
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๐คช absurd
#11
My circle is small because I'm into quality, not quantity.
#attitude
#circle
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๐คช absurd
#12
I'm not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice.
#attitude
#backup
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๐คช absurd
#13
Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.
#attitude
#success
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๐คช absurd
#14
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
#hilarious
#sarcastic
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๐คช absurd
#15
My internet went down for 5 minutes, so I went downstairs and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
#hilarious
#tech
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๐คช absurd
#16
I'm not rude. I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking.
#attitude
#rude
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๐คช absurd
#17
I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
#witty
#advice
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๐คช absurd
#18
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
#attitude
#problem
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๐คช absurd
#19
They told me I couldn't. That's why I did.
#attitude
#determination
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๐คช absurd
#20
I need a six-month vacation twice a year.
#witty
#vacation
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๐คช absurd
#21
If swimming is good for your shape, explain whales.
#absurd
#random
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๐คช absurd
#22
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
#hilarious
#puns
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๐คช absurd
#23
I'm a vibe that no one else can replace.
#quotes
#confident
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๐คช absurd
#24
Keep calm and pretend it's on the lesson plan.
#quotes
#teachers
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๐คช absurd
#25
Good things come to those who hustle.
#quotes
#hustle
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๐คช absurd
#26
I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
#witty
#math
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๐คช absurd
#27
They say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
#hilarious
#lazy
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๐คช absurd
#28
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.
#quotes
#friendship
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๐คช absurd
#29
I'm not old. I'm vintage.
#witty
#age
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๐คช absurd
#30
Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate.
#attitude
#haters
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๐คช absurd
#31
I'm not a snack. I'm the whole meal.
#attitude
#snack
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๐คช absurd
#32
Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries.'
#hilarious
#food
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๐คช absurd
#33
I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.
#witty
#clumsy
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๐คช absurd
#34
I'm not lazy. I'm on energy-saving mode.
#quotes
#lazy
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๐คช absurd
#35
I childproofed my house, but the kids still get in.
#hilarious
#parenting
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๐คช absurd
#36
I'm at that age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
#hilarious
#age
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๐คช absurd
#37
Make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.
#quotes
#motivational
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๐คช absurd
#38
My daily routine: Wake up. Be awesome. Go back to sleep.
#quotes
#routine
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๐คช absurd
#39
I'm silently correcting your grammar.
#witty
#grammar
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๐คช absurd
#40
I don't chase. I attract. What belongs to me will find me.
#attitude
#chase
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