Funny Single Status Ideas

I'm not single. I'm in a long-term relationship with freedom.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

I'm single because I was born that way. And I'm keeping the tradition alive.

Relationship status: Looking for WiFi.

I'm not single. I'm just waiting for my WiFi password to match someone else's.

My bed is a more committed relationship than any I've ever had.

Single: Not because I'm not good enough for anyone, but because no one is good enough for me.

Being single is cool. Nobody tells you what to do.

I'm not anti-relationship. I'm just pro-pizza.

Single and ready to mingle. With my couch. And snacks.

My relationship status: Made plans with my bed. Sorry, you're not invited.

I'm not single. I'm dating myself, and honestly, it's going pretty well.

Being single used to mean nobody wanted you. Now it means you're attractive enough to be choosing.

Single: Stress Is Now Gone, Life's Easier.

I'm single, but my cat isn't complaining.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

I'm in a committed relationship with pizza, and I'm not open to change.

Single? No, I'm just in a relationship with saving money.

The only drama I have in my life is choosing what to watch on Netflix.

I'm single because I haven't found anyone who can match my level of weird.

Being single is like a game. And I'm winning.

Single life: No one steals my blankets. No one steals my food. Sounds like I'm winning.

I'm not single. I'm self-partnered. That's the fancy way of saying it.

My love life is like a vacation: nonexistent but heavily dreamed about.

I'm not searching for my other half because I'm not a half.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm single and happy, how about you?

Single: Immune to Valentine's Day expenses.

I'm single by choice. Not my choice, but still.

I told myself I deserve better. So I stayed single.

Single doesn't mean lonely. It means I'm smart enough to wait for what I deserve.

I'm not single. I'm just romantically unavailable until further notice.

The best part of being single: The whole bed is mine.

Single: Because my standards are higher than my heels.

I'm not single. I'm just saving my heart for someone who deserves it.

Being single means I answer to no one. Except my stomach.

Single and finally doing whatever I want. Well, my bank account still controls me.

My relationship with my bed is the healthiest one I've ever had.

I'm not lonely. I'm just selectively social.

Single and happy. Not in denial. Just in my comfort zone.

My relationship status: Taking applications. High standards apply.