Funny Food & Diet Status Ideas

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Life is too short for boring food.

My relationship status: In a committed relationship with pizza.

I'm not addicted to food. We're just in a committed relationship.

Running late is my cardio. Running to the fridge is my workout.

There's no 'we' in food. It's all mine.

Food is my love language.

My diet plan: Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.

I'm not gaining weight. I'm storing happiness.

Brunch without mimosas is just a sad, late breakfast.

Dear diet, things aren't going to work out between us. It's not me, it's you. You're boring.

I think about food more than I think about my future.

My blood type is Nutella positive.

If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?

You had me at 'free food.'

Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries.'

I'm on a 30-day diet. So far, I've lost 15 days.

My superpower? I can smell food from a mile away.

Calories don't count on the weekends. That's science.

I like hashtags because they look like waffles.

The only running I do is running to the fridge.

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

You can't live a full life on an empty stomach.

Pizza is my soulmate.

I'm in a love triangle with my bed and the fridge.

Nothing brings people together like good food. That's why I eat alone.

My wallet says 'no' but my stomach says 'yes.'

I don't share food. Not even with my future children.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Eating is my favorite sport.

The only thing I'm committed to is breakfast.

My body is a temple. It's also a food court.

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Food is my therapist.

Avocados are like $3 each. I could buy a house if I stopped eating them. But I won't.

The secret ingredient is always butter. Or cheese. Usually both.

My favorite childhood memory is not paying for food.

First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.