I'm just here for the food. And the nap. Mostly the nap.
#thanksgiving
#food
#nap
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Thanksgiving: The day I'm most thankful for stretchy pants.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#pants
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My Thanksgiving diet: Eat now, regret later.
#thanksgiving
#diet
#regret
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Gobble 'til you wobble!
#thanksgiving
#gobble
#wobble
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Thanksgiving calories don't count. I don't make the rules.
#thanksgiving
#calories
#rules
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I'm thankful for elastic waistbands.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#waistbands
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Thanksgiving: A day to be thankful we only have to do this once a year.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#family
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Let's get basted!
#thanksgiving
#basted
#drinking
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I came for the turkey. I stayed for the pie.
#thanksgiving
#turkey
#pie
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Thanksgiving game plan: Eat until my belt gives up.
#thanksgiving
#eat
#belt
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My favorite sport is Thanksgiving eating.
#thanksgiving
#sport
#eating
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Thankful for family, food, and avoiding political discussions at dinner.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#politics
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Warning: May spontaneously talk about how full I am.
#thanksgiving
#full
#warning
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I'm just a girl, standing in front of a turkey, asking it to not make me sleepy.
#thanksgiving
#turkey
#sleepy
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Thanksgiving: The one day we acknowledge that pie is breakfast food.
#thanksgiving
#pie
#breakfast
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My relationship status: Committed to the mashed potatoes.
#thanksgiving
#mashed-potatoes
#relationship
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Stuffed: What I am. And also what the turkey is.
#thanksgiving
#stuffed
#turkey
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This Thanksgiving, I'm going to eat like I'm angry at my body.
#thanksgiving
#eat
#angry
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I put the 'giving' in Thanksgiving. As in, I'm giving up on my diet today.
#thanksgiving
#giving
#diet
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Thankful for: My couch. For catching me after dinner.
#thanksgiving
#couch
#thankful
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Thanksgiving prep: Loosen belt, stretch stomach, silence judgmental relatives.
#thanksgiving
#prep
#relatives
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I've been training for Thanksgiving dinner my whole life.
#thanksgiving
#training
#dinner
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The only workout I'm doing today is lifting my fork.
#thanksgiving
#workout
#fork
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Thanksgiving agenda: Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
#thanksgiving
#agenda
#simple
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I'm thankful for online shopping so I don't have to leave my food coma for Black Friday.
#thanksgiving
#shopping
#food-coma
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Thanksgiving: Where the food is hot and the family drama is hotter.
#thanksgiving
#food
#drama
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My stomach is flat today. Flat out ready for Thanksgiving dinner.
#thanksgiving
#stomach
#flat
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Plot twist: The gravy is the main course.
#thanksgiving
#gravy
#twist
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Happy Thanksgiving! Remember: Turkey isn't the only thing that gets roasted today.
#thanksgiving
#turkey
#roasted
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Thanksgiving survival guide: Nod, eat, and don't mention politics.
#thanksgiving
#survival
#politics
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I'm not overeating. I'm just tasting everything extensively.
#thanksgiving
#overeating
#tasting
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My love language is leftovers.
#thanksgiving
#love
#leftovers
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Thanksgiving: The only day my family asks about my love life more than my salary.
#thanksgiving
#family
#questions
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I'm thankful for the 'mute' button on family video calls.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#mute
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May your turkey be moist and your relatives be tolerable.
#thanksgiving
#turkey
#relatives
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Eat, drink, and be thankful for wine.
#thanksgiving
#eat
#wine
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The only running I'll do today is running back for seconds.
#thanksgiving
#running
#seconds
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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's basically just competitive eating.
#thanksgiving
#favorite
#competitive
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I've been carb-loading for this moment all year.
#thanksgiving
#carbs
#loading
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Thankful for: Anyone who brings dessert and doesn't ask when I'm getting married.
#thanksgiving
#thankful
#dessert
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