50 Funny Relationship Statuses for Couples

Relationships are like an X-ray. If you have to ask if something is wrong, something is definitely wrong.

Life goal: Make money. Not excuses.

Love is being stupid together.

My relationship status: Netflix, Oreos, and not getting out of bed.

Marriage is just texting each other 'Do we need anything from the store?' until one of you dies.

My life motto: What's meant to be will be. And what won't be... well, there's always snacks.

Every day is a new chance. To mess things up differently.

Life is like a camera: Focus on what's important, capture the good times, and if things don't work out, take another shot.

I'm not single. I'm just saving my heart for someone who deserves it.

Relationships are like phones. If you don't give them attention, they die.

I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.

I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat. My partner loves it too. Maybe.

I'm not searching for my other half because I'm not a half.

Life is too short for boring conversations and slow WiFi.

Adulting is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

I love you more than I love my phone. Don't tell my phone.

Single and happy. Not in denial. Just in my comfort zone.

I'm not anti-relationship. I'm just pro-pizza.

Single life: No one steals my blankets. No one steals my food. Sounds like I'm winning.

I'm on that new diet where I eat whatever I want and cry about my life choices later.

True love is when you both look at each other's phones without permission.

We're the perfect couple. I'm loud, they're deaf.

A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times—with the same person.

In this relationship, one person is always right. The other person is the man.

I'm single, but my cat isn't complaining.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

I love you more than coffee. But please don't make me prove it.

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Single: Stress Is Now Gone, Life's Easier.

Life is short. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Take the trip.

My partner said I should embrace my mistakes. So I hugged them.

I'm not lonely. I'm just selectively social.

Currently experiencing life at the speed of 'Are we there yet?'

True love is not having to suck in your stomach anymore.

I'm not where I want to be, but I'm definitely not where I was. Progress, I guess.

My bed is a more committed relationship than any I've ever had.

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

My relationship status: Made plans with my bed. Sorry, you're not invited.

We don't fight. We debate intensely with raised voices.

The secret to a happy relationship: Just agree and add wine.

Single: Immune to Valentine's Day expenses.

Sometimes life is like a game. And I'm on the 'easy to catch' difficulty.

My relationship with my bed is the healthiest one I've ever had.

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more.

My love life is like a vacation: nonexistent but heavily dreamed about.

I'm not single. I'm self-partnered. That's the fancy way of saying it.

Single? No, I'm just in a relationship with saving money.

Life is a journey, but let me just take a nap first.